With one hand on my hip and the other holding the towel rack I look into the porcelain bowl. Occasionally the smooth water bounces up and down from a stream of drool descending from my lips. My dog looks at me quizzically. I want to throw something at him, or at least yell at how annoying he is at this moment, but I can’t move. It is about to happen. Burp. Boom. Red chunks plop into the toilet. Most of them anyways. Some bits of half-digested food remain stuck in the back of my throat. They are gross. I try to clear them out. Oh, shit, here it goes again. What a way to spend a Sunday night.
Throwing up sucks. But more to the point. You Suck. Yes you! That is every citizen of Dallas who contributed to giving me a stomach virus. That is all you people everywhere who don’t cover your mouth when you sneeze and wipe your hands with poo. You are cause of my misery and there will be revenge. Watch your back! Tony Romo will strike you down.
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1 comment:
This is the grossest thing I have read in a very long time
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